Many things have been on my mind this last year. I have been hurt and criticized so many times that I have started to change, but not because of anything anyone said or did to me that was hurtful. Do you realize that criticism does not change people? Individuals choose to change themselves. Also, when we ask and expect people to change, we usually find that they don’t change in the way we desired, but they push against it. Interesting right?!
I have realized that some people do not matter. Not in a harmful type of way, but there are those people that take more from me and my ability to function than is necessary. Did you know that it is absolutely okay to set boundaries for yourself? Do you know that is is also okay to remove yourself from a “friendship” or a “relationship” by personal choice or desire? I was not allowing myself to choose. I tend to be the type of person who does not want to hurt others. I truly believe that it is completely possible to change. If one wants to, one can. I do not believe that there is no hope for anyone in this world. The problem comes though, when one does not have a desire to change, or one does not know that they need to change. It’s a real thing. There absolutely are folks who are not going to respect you, people who think less of you and those that do not think that you are worth their time, or there are those who do not believe that you have anything important to say. Guess what. Those people are not worth the bandwidth in your brain and the time it would take to be their friends. Those that matter, will not ask or expect you to change or to be different. These are the folks that we need to spend more time with and invest our personal bandwidth on developing and sustaining a relationship with.
Sometimes the hardest decision we face in life is the decision to remove someone from our lives. It is even more difficult when it’s a family member that you really do want to have a relationship with, but you have learned that it is one sided. You are the only one who actually wants to work on a relationship and have one. The realization of this is the good news. You can choose something different. You can make your life better. You do not need anyone else to make your life better. You have control of your life.
Did you know this is the best news ever? You have choice. Not choosing something or someone different, that is also a choice. I am so excited about this news. We do not have to be upset with anyone. We can just make the choice to change.
I love having the knowledge that I am the one in control of my life. I get to choose, and even not choosing is also a choice. I feel empowered knowing that I can change my thoughts and feelings. How cool is that?!!