I have been on a fitness journey for about 5 years now. I am shocked sometimes how much I have changed and keep improving, but that’s not to say that it hasn’t been difficult. Honestly taking care of my body is one of the most difficult things I do each day.

If I want to feel good I have realized that means taking some time for myself to workout, ponder, eat well, sleep and go to bed early, have spiritual time and more. Each of these items takes TIME. Time actually that seems impossible and that I may not have. I have had to go through a mental shift as well as a physical shift. My kids and spouse have also had to learn that I am not giving up, and they are part of the process to my success or failure. This is truly a battle I want to win.

I get up every day knowing I am going to work out. When I started years ago, I actually slept in my workout clothes because it was that hard for me to go workout. If I was already dressed and only needed to brush my teeth, I went. Thankfully I do not have to do that anymore.

The hardest thing currently and has always been, is that I am emotionally tied to my food. Diet is truly the key to all physical and emotional success and it is also the most difficult to manage and be successful at. I can workout for a very long time. I can change up my workouts, I can add more reps, days, exercises etc., but I will not look and feel good if I do not eat well. Conquering the correct lifestyle diet is my biggest challenge.

When my kids make me crazy I eat. When I fight with my husband I eat. When something goes wrong, I eat. The opposite is also true. When things go amazing I want to celebrate. When I want to go do something it’s usually got food in there somewhere. When the kids are successful, we eat. It is very interesting how food has become this thing we do, not a life sustaining source. It’s not a freedom, but a vice. It’s something to control and conquer.

I LOVE food! I love that feeling of satisfaction and fullness. I love cooking and making meals that everyone raves about. I love being able to eat what I desire. I have found great recipes and great things to help me on my journey, but there are hard things. Traveling is hard, other people make things hard, school and church make things hard. Honestly, if I was never tempted to cheat, I would most certainly be successful. Isn’t that how everything in life works though? Aren’t there always obstacles that seem insurmountable? Isn’t there ALWAYS something holding us back in anything that we really want? Seriously. Anything good in life comes from hard work. REALLY HARD WORK. I sometimes hate it. I am sometimes too immature to remember that everything in life that’s worth anything takes hard work and frankly time. I’m in this weird spot where I want to be amazing and extremely fit, and yet something or multiple things are holding me back somehow. How to overcome this? I’m just not sure. I just know I will keep trying, and I will never give up.

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