Trapped

Seems weird to start a post with that title, but I think it describes the feelings in my home currently very well. We all feel trapped. Now, is this because of our own choices or others choices? Perhaps some of both.

With this pandemic going on, our lives have not really changed very much, but our mindset has. Life still goes on. Kids still worked on school, until the school year was over, we still had our activities, even if they were on the computer or phone, church services still happened with slight changes, work still went on. Why then do we all feel so trapped one might ask?

I feel like our power to choose and have agency has been removed. For some reason we cannot choose whether or not these changes can be made, it’s been done for us by seemingly advanced forces with no thought to how it would affect mental, social, spiritual, physical life. It has been an experience that I literally never want to experience again. I miss my ability to choose what I think I want to do, say etc. in my life. I cannot just choose to get up and go to Costco. Nope. I have to consider that I cannot take my children with me, and I have to wear a mask-that I truly believe does nothing but make us more mentally ill. I no longer get to say, hey kids jump in the car lets go to Costco. Nope. I cannot choose to put my children in activities. Nope. I have to decide if I am okay with the dictation of “safe” practices if I go anywhere or do anything.

What if I know and have decided that I know what “safe” means for me? Doesn’t matter. If it doesn’t line up with the powers that be, I am wrong. Am I though? Didn’t God give me the right to choose? Didn’t God give me a brain that can research, understand and know for myself? What is what the powers that be say something and I disagree? I don’t actually know what to do with that. I do disagree with some things. I do agree that we needed to be more aware of others, illness, spread of germs, etc., even though I know I was already informed. I am high risk. I have a weak immune system. I have been down this road for years. I know what “getting sick” means. It means something for me that looks totally different for someone else sadly. I have been very aware that no one actually cares if I get ill. I have always had to take precautions. I have always had opportunities to educate others.

Funny thing with all of this, not one person from the powers that be has actually asked me or anyone else I know that is super high risk how we feel about these measures being taken. Guess what? We don’t agree. We have lived like this forever. We know that we can live in fear, doubt, sorrow etc. that we might die, catch a bug that will kill us at the store, gym or wherever, BUT we LIVE!! We choose to LIVE! Sitting trapped in our homes is not a way to live. It’s not a way to raise children. It’s not a way to work, go to school, get a hair cut, have friends, parties, on and on and on. One must LIVE!

All of this has gone too far. It’s time that those that are not high risk and are scared to live figure out that this is no way to live. It just drives depression, mental illness, crime, divorce, secrets, gossip, and more. It’s time to be back at it. It’s time to decide that we are going to be okay. It’s all going to be okay. Let’s all join together, get back out there and LIVE!

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