Have you ever noticed that Facebook has become this place where people think
they can tell their friends, family, loved ones how to feel? No seriously.
People post things in a venting format and other tell them they cannot feel
that way. REALLY. Think about it. What was your last post? How many people
“corrected” you on it? It is very interesting to think about. Here
are some examples from my own posts on Facebook.
During the holiday season I posted a venting post about the mailman in my
neighborhood. I have lived in the same house for 15 years, and I kid you not, I
get mail for the people who lived here 15 years ago…still. I also get mail
for my next-door neighbors, and for some folks who live a couple of streets
over with a similar address ALL.THE.TIME! Now, my mistake was posting how I
hate this phenomenon during the holidays. Of course, the mailmen and post
office are busier during that time frame, but the mistakes they make happen ALL
YEAR ROUND. I was posting how I ordered some things online and it said online
that they were delivered, yet they were not. This happens regardless of the
time of year. Someone else received them in my neighborhood, and had yet to
take them to my home. Well, I was venting my frustrations. However, some people
in my neighborhood group felt they needed to correct my frustrations by telling
me to have heart it’s the holidays, give them a break-they are trying as hard
as they can, etc. etc. Um…NO! It happens all the freaking time! Why can I not
I posted in my city chat group my feelings on a dog park. Someone told me that my
comment was not warranted in the post because they felt that I was taking the
leash law and putting it into the dog park situation. Well, kind of? I said if
it solves other issues with dogs in our city like people not adhering to the
leash law, then we should go for it. Huh. I have a different train of thought,
but my feelings are somehow less valid than everyone else’s in the city? WOW.
Yesterday I posted a comment on a friend’s thread who was venting that she
didn’t understand why we had a snow day for the schools in our district. I agreed with her, and also commented my feelings on the matter. Then some “friends” we both share tried to correct my feelings by saying I should be happy about an extra day with my kids, or that I should play with my kids with the time I have. Interesting. I said in my comment that I was busy all day with appointments and work, so how are those comments relative? Also, why are they trying to change how I feel or how my friend feels? We have a right to feel like the snow day was unwarranted.
We feel what we feel. It doesn’t matter what the topic is, or where we state
our feelings, they are ours. It’s actually okay to feel what you feel and many
times we all just need to be validated in those feelings so that we can move
on. Why do so many think they have to change our views, or show us how we
“should” feel differently? It’s like telling a mom with autistic
children that it wasn’t vaccinations that made her kids that way, or like
telling someone who is homosexual that they actually are not-it’s a fad, or
that someone who says they don’t believe in God actually does. All of these
things are someone’s heart. None of us can change how anyone views the world,
or how they feel about the situations they are in. It is a moot point to try
and convince someone they are “wrong” in their feelings. Why can’t we
all just be supportive friends and let them vent and validate that is where
they are at?